The ta-tas enter first

Whether you're a plump girl or just a regular girl with gigantic ta-tas, you can relate to what I'm about to say. People know I am entering the room even before I enter the room. Why? Because my ta-tas enter first. The rest of me makes a fashionably delayed entrance.

When your ta-tas are a size 54TTT, you will have some issues with your bountiful beauties. Now, there are women out there who would give anything to have gargantuan chicken cutlets, but those of us with them, wish that we had smaller, more reasonable, 32Bs. There are many issues with being so well "blessed" in the chest area:

#1. Your boobs enter a room first and if you're a plump girl,

your belly follows shortly after.

#2. They run into things; for instance, if you're rounding a corner

when walking, your ta-tas may hit said corner.

#3. They knock things over. It's like they have tentacles or something

because you may think you're not anywhere near an item,

when all of a sudden, it gets boob-swiped and falls to the ground.

#4. They bounce like they're on a trampoline.

When you run down the stairs, it's best to hold on to them so

they don't bounce up and smack you on your double chin.

#5. Even sports bras can't contain the enthusiasm of giant breasts!

Nope, they still dance all over the place.

#6. Sometimes, you have to move them out of the way

in order to get comfortable when you're laying down.

#7. They typically point due south.

#8. Your cleavage is like a crevasse

in which they may send a search party for a lost hiker.

#9. Your blouses stretch. The rest of the top fits you just fine,

but across the mountain range on your chest,

it pulls across into a contorted bunch of fabric.

#10. Going strapless isn't always the brightest idea;

those rambunctious ta-tas always want to make an appearance

on the dance floor.

So, now all you small-chested gals, you want large boobies? Or, have you reconsidered that desire? Don't get me wrong though, ta-tas are awesome, we should save them and consider ourselves blessed when they're not ravaged by cancer.


Last night, my husband and I had a little in-home date night. I made homemade pizza and we watched a movie. For dessert, I made frozen banana soft serve! This is something I've seen on television and on Pinterest (love Pinterest!).

What you do is take bananas (ripe or not), cut them into quarters and freeze them. Then, put them in your food processor and start mixing! At first, you'll think you're doing something horribly wrong because the frozen naners immediately turn into a fine dust looking somewhat like cornmeal. But, do not fret! Scoop down the sides of the processor a few times but keep on mixing. Eventually, they bananas will start to take on a creamy and smooth consistency, just like that of soft serve ice cream (takes about five minutes)! No joke, people! This picture doesn't even do it justice. Put a few sprinkles or nuts on top and you have yourself a very healthy ice cream dessert! Try it; you'll be thanking me when you do! Whoever came up with this idea, should be drug out into the street and kissed!


Before church today, I pulled out the ol' Crock Pot, sprayed it with cooking spray and threw in a few chicken breasts (appropriate after this post, wouldn't you say?), a can of crushed pineapple and about 3/4 of a bottle of Hawaiian style barbecue sauce (you can find this at Target...the Archer Farms brand). Run the slow cooker on low for about 6-8 hours, pull apart the chicken and serve with rice. I ended up putting the rice in the slow cooker since there was quite a bit of liquid already in there.

Aloha! Delicious and so super easy. The picture doesn't do it justice.

   I wish we hadn't eaten all the banana soft serve! I've love some more for dessert.

Last week I took on the task of making fresh, home made pasta. This was NOT a task; it was fun and super easy! Took me about 25 minutes total prep time. The recipe I used comes from The Pioneer Woman (can't go wrong with her!).

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/05/homemade-pasta/

Throw on some homemade pasta sauce (gravy) and viola!

Fantastic!!

I am up one pound this week but I'm not at all surprised. I didn't faithfully hit the gym (I like to smack it when I arrive in the morning) but I will this week.

Plump girl goes Brazilian

Did you just read the title and giggle and the go "what"? Made ya look!

In August, my husband and I had our marriage blessed in his church. We did it on our five year anniversary and it was very important to him that we do this. During the short ceremony, there were some parishioners (who we didn't know) in the church watching us. Afterward, this woman came up to us and congratulated us. She handed us a gift card and said "I want you to have this so you can enjoy a night out!" We thanked her and walked away feeling a bit baffled. We appreciated her kind gesture and figured there was $10 or $20 on this card.

The gift card was for a restaurant called Rodizio's Brazilian grill and when I checked the balance of the card, I discovered there was $100 on it! Holy moly! This woman, who neither of us had ever met before, gave us a gift card for $100 to Rodizio's! I couldn't believe it. This kind of stuff never happens to us so I checked the balance again. Sure enough, it was right the first time.

This was back in August and I finally made the reservation to go to Rodizio's for dinner the night after my 38th birthday for a date night/birthday celebration with my husband. We're all ready for our dinner because we didn't eat any lunch in anticipation of a monstrous feast of fabulous foods! Now, let me just say, for this night out, I put the weight loss on hold, baby! I wasn't about to go into this experience with limitations. No-sir-ee!

We walked into the restaurant and came face to face with a wall (an entire wall) of wine. I'm not much of a wine drinker but this wall made me want to get a paper bag and become a drunk! Jim and I stared at it with all it's interesting design and rolling ladder and thought to ourselves, "that's a lot of money up there. Wow!".

See what I mean? Wow!

Well, if anyone has been to a Brazilian grill restaurant, you know that they immediately, I mean IMMEDIATELY start feeding you.

First, they bring out the appetizers. Fried pollenta sticks with Parmesan cheese (very Italian, not Brazilian but our server said that many Europeans migrated to Brazil and so there are dishes from many countries...works for me), small biscuits with cheese baked inside and pieces of apple dipped in some sort of wonder batter that included cinnamon sugar and then they're fried up! Oh. My. Word. These little bits of rainbow filled joy melted in my mouth with just the right amount of sugary crunch on the outside and sweet soft banana on the inside. My mouth is watering, sprinkling really, right now as I write this blog. I think I ate about six of those little devils! Did I mention that all the food is unlimited!

We then move on to the salad bar. This is not your normal salad bar; it's filled with interesting foods and salads. I only went to the salad bar once but I came back with one small, hard-boiled quail egg of which I only ate half because it was odd; Rodizio salad which consisted of lettuce, cheese and bacon (Yum); roasted pineapple slaw which was the best slaw to ever touch my lips; strawberry salad which consisted of lettuce, strawberries and coconut and equated to a evening dream on a sandy beach. I also tried the mashed potatoes but wasn't too impressed with those. My husband went to the salad bar at least twice and I'm pretty sure he tried everything up there. He wasn't going to miss one bit!

Then....they bring out the meat. They have these dudes dressed in funny outfits and poofy shirts come around with giant skewers of meat. The come to the tables and cut off small portions of the offerings for people to try. The first one that came to our table was a glazed pineapple and my eyes got huge! I love pineapple and this one was no exception. It was warm and slightly caramelized and quite possibly, was the most tender pineapple on earth! Luckily, that treat came around a few more times and I jumped at the chance to have more!

One odd little food that came around was the chicken heart and a piece of lime. We both tried it because we figured, why not. I immediately cut into mine to inspect the insides as my husband laughed at me. Then I tried it. I sliced off the tiniest piece of chicken heart which I'd already doused with lime juice. All the lime juice in the world would not make this palatable. Blech is really the only word to describe this. If that's not enough to keep me on a diet, I don't know what is.

The other dishes included: sweet and spicy chicken, pork sausage, rattlesnake and jalapeno sausage (not yummy), some sort of glazed pork, tenderloin, roasted veggies and a slew of other goodies which I have forgotten because my food coma that ensued when we returned home must have impacted my brain. I do, however, remember the bacon wrapped turkey.

I am not a fan of turkey because, in my mind, it's usually dry and tasteless. This turkey must have been a very magical turkey who was very hydrated or something because the turkey juices practically ran down my chin. Forget about the bacon for now (Yes, I said "forget about the bacon"), this turkey was bred to be consumed. His life goal was to tickle my taste buds and in turn, make my eyes sparkle with joy! I just can't say enough about how much I loved this treat! Now, back to the bacon in which the turkey was wrapped. It was like the well-hydrated turkey was in a little bacon sleeping bag and he didn't want to come out! They were married together like a couple of people who were never meant to be apart! Unfortunately, the turkey-bacon man only came around twice. But, that's okay; twice is better than once!

Since we were celebrating my birthday and we had the gift card, we decided to go for dessert. The server had already gone over the dessert tray with us but once he said "creme brulee" I didn't hear anything else he said. Creme brulee is my all-time favorite dessert and is a treat that I rarely pass up; luckily, it rarely is offered.

This might possibly have been the best creme brulee I've had in my entire life! The custard was a wonderful consistency and was set to perfection and the bruled sugar crust on top was like crystallized heaven! Mmm.

We rolled ourselves out of the restaurant and although we thought they should have wheelbarrows outside for patron use, we made it to the car, groaning the whole time. Well worth it, though!

Okay, so, this post really had nothing to do with weight loss but one can't have a dinner like that and not share the delicious details!

I did lose three pound last week, just to update you on that front!