The ta-tas enter first

Whether you're a plump girl or just a regular girl with gigantic ta-tas, you can relate to what I'm about to say. People know I am entering the room even before I enter the room. Why? Because my ta-tas enter first. The rest of me makes a fashionably delayed entrance.

When your ta-tas are a size 54TTT, you will have some issues with your bountiful beauties. Now, there are women out there who would give anything to have gargantuan chicken cutlets, but those of us with them, wish that we had smaller, more reasonable, 32Bs. There are many issues with being so well "blessed" in the chest area:

#1. Your boobs enter a room first and if you're a plump girl,

your belly follows shortly after.

#2. They run into things; for instance, if you're rounding a corner

when walking, your ta-tas may hit said corner.

#3. They knock things over. It's like they have tentacles or something

because you may think you're not anywhere near an item,

when all of a sudden, it gets boob-swiped and falls to the ground.

#4. They bounce like they're on a trampoline.

When you run down the stairs, it's best to hold on to them so

they don't bounce up and smack you on your double chin.

#5. Even sports bras can't contain the enthusiasm of giant breasts!

Nope, they still dance all over the place.

#6. Sometimes, you have to move them out of the way

in order to get comfortable when you're laying down.

#7. They typically point due south.

#8. Your cleavage is like a crevasse

in which they may send a search party for a lost hiker.

#9. Your blouses stretch. The rest of the top fits you just fine,

but across the mountain range on your chest,

it pulls across into a contorted bunch of fabric.

#10. Going strapless isn't always the brightest idea;

those rambunctious ta-tas always want to make an appearance

on the dance floor.

So, now all you small-chested gals, you want large boobies? Or, have you reconsidered that desire? Don't get me wrong though, ta-tas are awesome, we should save them and consider ourselves blessed when they're not ravaged by cancer.


Last night, my husband and I had a little in-home date night. I made homemade pizza and we watched a movie. For dessert, I made frozen banana soft serve! This is something I've seen on television and on Pinterest (love Pinterest!).

What you do is take bananas (ripe or not), cut them into quarters and freeze them. Then, put them in your food processor and start mixing! At first, you'll think you're doing something horribly wrong because the frozen naners immediately turn into a fine dust looking somewhat like cornmeal. But, do not fret! Scoop down the sides of the processor a few times but keep on mixing. Eventually, they bananas will start to take on a creamy and smooth consistency, just like that of soft serve ice cream (takes about five minutes)! No joke, people! This picture doesn't even do it justice. Put a few sprinkles or nuts on top and you have yourself a very healthy ice cream dessert! Try it; you'll be thanking me when you do! Whoever came up with this idea, should be drug out into the street and kissed!


Before church today, I pulled out the ol' Crock Pot, sprayed it with cooking spray and threw in a few chicken breasts (appropriate after this post, wouldn't you say?), a can of crushed pineapple and about 3/4 of a bottle of Hawaiian style barbecue sauce (you can find this at Target...the Archer Farms brand). Run the slow cooker on low for about 6-8 hours, pull apart the chicken and serve with rice. I ended up putting the rice in the slow cooker since there was quite a bit of liquid already in there.

Aloha! Delicious and so super easy. The picture doesn't do it justice.

   I wish we hadn't eaten all the banana soft serve! I've love some more for dessert.

Last week I took on the task of making fresh, home made pasta. This was NOT a task; it was fun and super easy! Took me about 25 minutes total prep time. The recipe I used comes from The Pioneer Woman (can't go wrong with her!).

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/05/homemade-pasta/

Throw on some homemade pasta sauce (gravy) and viola!

Fantastic!!

I am up one pound this week but I'm not at all surprised. I didn't faithfully hit the gym (I like to smack it when I arrive in the morning) but I will this week.

Plump girl goes Brazilian

Did you just read the title and giggle and the go "what"? Made ya look!

In August, my husband and I had our marriage blessed in his church. We did it on our five year anniversary and it was very important to him that we do this. During the short ceremony, there were some parishioners (who we didn't know) in the church watching us. Afterward, this woman came up to us and congratulated us. She handed us a gift card and said "I want you to have this so you can enjoy a night out!" We thanked her and walked away feeling a bit baffled. We appreciated her kind gesture and figured there was $10 or $20 on this card.

The gift card was for a restaurant called Rodizio's Brazilian grill and when I checked the balance of the card, I discovered there was $100 on it! Holy moly! This woman, who neither of us had ever met before, gave us a gift card for $100 to Rodizio's! I couldn't believe it. This kind of stuff never happens to us so I checked the balance again. Sure enough, it was right the first time.

This was back in August and I finally made the reservation to go to Rodizio's for dinner the night after my 38th birthday for a date night/birthday celebration with my husband. We're all ready for our dinner because we didn't eat any lunch in anticipation of a monstrous feast of fabulous foods! Now, let me just say, for this night out, I put the weight loss on hold, baby! I wasn't about to go into this experience with limitations. No-sir-ee!

We walked into the restaurant and came face to face with a wall (an entire wall) of wine. I'm not much of a wine drinker but this wall made me want to get a paper bag and become a drunk! Jim and I stared at it with all it's interesting design and rolling ladder and thought to ourselves, "that's a lot of money up there. Wow!".

See what I mean? Wow!

Well, if anyone has been to a Brazilian grill restaurant, you know that they immediately, I mean IMMEDIATELY start feeding you.

First, they bring out the appetizers. Fried pollenta sticks with Parmesan cheese (very Italian, not Brazilian but our server said that many Europeans migrated to Brazil and so there are dishes from many countries...works for me), small biscuits with cheese baked inside and pieces of apple dipped in some sort of wonder batter that included cinnamon sugar and then they're fried up! Oh. My. Word. These little bits of rainbow filled joy melted in my mouth with just the right amount of sugary crunch on the outside and sweet soft banana on the inside. My mouth is watering, sprinkling really, right now as I write this blog. I think I ate about six of those little devils! Did I mention that all the food is unlimited!

We then move on to the salad bar. This is not your normal salad bar; it's filled with interesting foods and salads. I only went to the salad bar once but I came back with one small, hard-boiled quail egg of which I only ate half because it was odd; Rodizio salad which consisted of lettuce, cheese and bacon (Yum); roasted pineapple slaw which was the best slaw to ever touch my lips; strawberry salad which consisted of lettuce, strawberries and coconut and equated to a evening dream on a sandy beach. I also tried the mashed potatoes but wasn't too impressed with those. My husband went to the salad bar at least twice and I'm pretty sure he tried everything up there. He wasn't going to miss one bit!

Then....they bring out the meat. They have these dudes dressed in funny outfits and poofy shirts come around with giant skewers of meat. The come to the tables and cut off small portions of the offerings for people to try. The first one that came to our table was a glazed pineapple and my eyes got huge! I love pineapple and this one was no exception. It was warm and slightly caramelized and quite possibly, was the most tender pineapple on earth! Luckily, that treat came around a few more times and I jumped at the chance to have more!

One odd little food that came around was the chicken heart and a piece of lime. We both tried it because we figured, why not. I immediately cut into mine to inspect the insides as my husband laughed at me. Then I tried it. I sliced off the tiniest piece of chicken heart which I'd already doused with lime juice. All the lime juice in the world would not make this palatable. Blech is really the only word to describe this. If that's not enough to keep me on a diet, I don't know what is.

The other dishes included: sweet and spicy chicken, pork sausage, rattlesnake and jalapeno sausage (not yummy), some sort of glazed pork, tenderloin, roasted veggies and a slew of other goodies which I have forgotten because my food coma that ensued when we returned home must have impacted my brain. I do, however, remember the bacon wrapped turkey.

I am not a fan of turkey because, in my mind, it's usually dry and tasteless. This turkey must have been a very magical turkey who was very hydrated or something because the turkey juices practically ran down my chin. Forget about the bacon for now (Yes, I said "forget about the bacon"), this turkey was bred to be consumed. His life goal was to tickle my taste buds and in turn, make my eyes sparkle with joy! I just can't say enough about how much I loved this treat! Now, back to the bacon in which the turkey was wrapped. It was like the well-hydrated turkey was in a little bacon sleeping bag and he didn't want to come out! They were married together like a couple of people who were never meant to be apart! Unfortunately, the turkey-bacon man only came around twice. But, that's okay; twice is better than once!

Since we were celebrating my birthday and we had the gift card, we decided to go for dessert. The server had already gone over the dessert tray with us but once he said "creme brulee" I didn't hear anything else he said. Creme brulee is my all-time favorite dessert and is a treat that I rarely pass up; luckily, it rarely is offered.

This might possibly have been the best creme brulee I've had in my entire life! The custard was a wonderful consistency and was set to perfection and the bruled sugar crust on top was like crystallized heaven! Mmm.

We rolled ourselves out of the restaurant and although we thought they should have wheelbarrows outside for patron use, we made it to the car, groaning the whole time. Well worth it, though!

Okay, so, this post really had nothing to do with weight loss but one can't have a dinner like that and not share the delicious details!

I did lose three pound last week, just to update you on that front!





Butter Body

I'm wondering the same thing as you: how did this sculptor get a picture of me to create such a masterpiece? He did a great job really; exactly what I look like lounging on the side of a pool.

Last week, I wasn't so good. I was sick and didn't exercise except for once and I didn't eat very healthy either and I gained three pounds. But...it's okay! Onward and upward!

Saturday evening, my husband and I went to my kid brother's house for an early birthday dinner for me (my birthday is this Friday). All I wanted from my brother's family for my birthday was a home made dinner and time spent with family. I wanted the home made dinner to be one of brick oven pizza made in my brother's hand-crafted brick oven he built inside his smoker grill!

I'd yet to try these pizzas which I have heard so much about...rave reviews! My brother had me help him make the pizzas because the cook so fast in the oven (which can reach upwards of 900 degrees inside) that he can't do it all by himself. This was so much fun! I can't explain what a great time I had stretching the dough, putting the toppings on the pies and then "launching" them into the oven! Launching...that just sounds funny to me.

This is is oven which is his smoker grill modified to suit his needs when he wants to make brick oven pizzas!

These pies were soooooo delicious! The crust was a perfect mix of crunchy on the bottom and then chewy below the toppings! We made a couple of meat pizzas with fresh mozzarella, one with pesto, chicken and sun-dried tomatoes, one barbecue chicken pie and one with sweet Italian sausage, fresh mozzarella and ricotta. But, my favorite was a white pie with olive oil (no red sauce), an Asiago and Fontina blend of cheeses and it was topped off with dried figs and green peppers! Holy mackerel people! I thought I was going to pass out it was so yummy! I woke up Sunday morning craving these pizzas! Thank you, baby brother, for a wonderful experience of cooking and unbelievable food!


The avocado egg salad I posted last week is fan-freakin-tastic! So creamy and egg-y and avocado-y! A must try!

http://www.skinnytaste.com/2012/04/avocado-egg-salad.html#more



So, let's talk about the title of this post: Butter Body. Do you know what that means? It doesn't mean something that Paula Dean would cook that would turn someone into a literally butter body, although, one must be careful with that! It also isn't some oddly beautiful sculpture made entirely from butter.

Butter, made of, I am.
Probably some have heard "butter face", which means, her body is rockin', but her (butter) face...! Ouch.

The woman in the image at the top of the post is a total butter body while Yoda is a body made of butter. See the difference?

I think I may have a butter body, of course, this is assuming my face isn't so bad. So, let's assume that my face isn't entirely un-goodlooking. Someone may possibly look at me and think, "well her face isn't that bad, but her (butter) body...", frown. Ah well, this is where working on said butter body comes into play. I may never have a perfect body and I'm okay with that. I think most (generally speaking) plump girls who want to drop some weight are happy when they drop weight, no matter how much. I'm already happy about the weight loss I've already accomplished, even with the three pound gain last week.

Sporty seating and happy scales

My husband and I were fortunate enough to enjoy a suite at the Colorado Eagles (local minor-league hockey) game this weekend. A friend of his had tickets donated by his boss and we were invited to attend! Now, if you have ever been to any sort of sporting event and you are a plump person, you may understand my concern for the seat sizes in the arena. I figured we would just stand around in the suite but still enjoy the game without attempting to wriggle our bountiful booties into plump hating seats. To my surprise, the seats in the box attached to the suite were much more comfy and plump sized that I expected!

I was concerned I'd be tempted by food that both my husband I expected to be offered in the suite; well, being that we were "suite virgins", we thought all suites had catered munchies! Yeah, no. Lucky for us, food was in the hundreds of dollars (as it is meant to feed the masses, apparently) and since we were just happy to have free tickets, we didn't need to be worried about delicious temptations because we certainly weren't going to spring for food! No way, Jose!


I stepped on the scale Saturday morning and a grin slowly quickly spread across my lips: down four plump pounds!! Woot!

One small problem, my pants keep falling down. One pair of fairly new Wranglers (not really, I don't wear Wranglers) I don't even have to unbutton or unzip to take them off; they just fall off fairly easily. I say this is a problem because I have to make the two pairs of jeans I have that fit me, last until I am in a position to afford to buy more.

See, skinny mates, when you're plump and slightly poor, you don't have many clothes in your closet. Number one, because you don't like to try on clothes; number two, because plump-friendly clothes are more expensive; number three, because there are very few places which cater to the plump population. Number three is odd to me...considering, sadly, that a large portion (no pun intended) of our population in these United States are on the plump side. Why wouldn't retailers market more to a wider (still, no pun intended) of potential shoppers? Doesn't make sense to me.


A few months ago, weekends would have been the time to order pizza (if we hadn't already done so during the week) or gone out to eat. Lately, we hardly go out at all and I think we've ordered pizza once in the last month. Yesterday, which was Saturday, I made tomato and mozzarella risotto! Holy deliciousness, Batman! Wow!

I've made risotto before; it's super easy but takes time. This risotto called for spinach to be added at the end. I forgot to get some at the store so we went without and didn't miss it at all. The recipe also calls for fresh mozzarella and in the interest of saving money (even though I'm a big fan of fresh mozzarella), I used plain grated mozzarella. Again, didn't make a lick of difference. This was one of those meals that my husband enjoyed so much, I'm pretty sure he licked his plate. I love you, honey! I will most certainly be making this again!

http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/tomato-mozzarella-risotto-50400000123591/

This isn't the healthiest meal out there but over half of the fat is good fat. I always feel silly using the term "good fat"! But it's packed with protein and the flavor is out of this world!

Friday night, I made a simply made cheese enchiladas which is a quick and easy meal to fix. I frequently use it as a last minute meal when I want us to avoid going out.

This week, I plan on trying this new recipe I saw on Pinterest for a low-fat avocado egg salad. I bought some of those sandwich thins at the store and will make egg salad sandwiches. Egg salad is one of my favorites but I hardly ever eat it because I forget to make it or it's hard to find a restaurant with a really good egg salad.

I'll keep you posted as to how this one tastes! How yummy does this look?

http://www.skinnytaste.com/2012/04/avocado-egg-salad.html#more

All the days gone by

A month? One month has gone by since I started this blog and my weight loss journey. I feel as if I should have had bigger numbers show up on the scale. Well, a big number does show up on the scale but I wanted the loss number to be bigger. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. I know I'm not on the "Biggest Loser" and I can't lose 15 pounds in one week but this week I only lost 0.4 pounds.I was anticipating bigger numbers for my first month. I know...a loss is a loss.

This month, as far as I know, I've lost about six pounds or so. I'm guesstimating, because, if you recall, I made the mistake of not weighing myself on my scale at home and instead relied on the scale at the doctor's office as my starting point. My comparison is skewed.

While I'm on the complaining track, let me just moan and groan about the early morning gym adventure. It's lost it's excitement, it's zing, it's appeal. It's not novel any more and has become routine. And I'm none too thrilled about getting out of my cozy warm bed in the mornings during these crisp fall Colorado mornings. But, I have started going earlier to lengthen my workout by about ten minutes. In order to lengthen it even more, I'll have to go back to the gym in the afternoons since it opens at 5 AM and I need to be at work at 6 AM. My time is a bit limited in the mornings.

If anyone has any encouraging words for my lack luster pound lossage, I'd be very appreciative! I know a woman's body frequently changes and that can alter the scale and I also know that I can't rely solely on the number on the scale but sometimes, that's all I see and I end up getting down on myself.

I'm not sure how to remind myself that there are other measurements of weight loss. Many people tell me to measure myself to record loss of inches. I typically nod my head and say "yeah, I probably should do that", but in the back of my mind I'm thinking, "you find a measuring tape big enough to go around me, and then maybe I'll do it".

Comparison:

10/15/12

 

9/12/12







10/15/12

9/12/12





                                             

I'm pretty sure I don't see much difference just yet. What do you think?

On a lighter note, I'd like to share this recipe for lighter chocolate chip cookies. They are in no way fat or calorie free so portion size is still very important, but they are healthier than regular chocolate chip cookies. And, THEY'RE DELICIOUS!!!!! I mean, really, really good!! You'd never know that there is whole wheat flour and less fat in them so be careful! I'm warning you, people! Be careful! Yum!

http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/butter-chocolate-chip-cookies-50400000123564/



This little easy "treat" was not so yummy. Not a treat really. The picture makes it look creamy and delicious but instead it was frozen solid and crunchy because of the ice crystals which formed from the yogurt. It was just a flop. I wouldn't suggest it as yogurt doesn't freeze so well.

http://www.pinporium.com/pumpkin-frozen-yogurt-1-cup-greek-yogurt-1-cup-pumpkin-puree-1-t-sugar-1-t-pumpkin-pie-spice

 

 

Plump girl problem #9:

Being careful not to kick someone

as you try to cross your legs

and then realizing,

you can't actually cross your legs.

*** UPDATE!!  I took the advice of a friend and went back to the doctor's office to weigh myself yesterday. I then went home and weighed myself there and did the math. Turns out, I've actually lost 14 pounds!!  Yippee!!

How many cheeks does that seat sit?

This weekend I am attending a conference order to obtain the continuing education (CE)required to maintain my license in the State of Colorado. I'll spend about ten hours listening to lectures hoping to learn new and exciting things to take back to my co-workers to enhance how we all do our jobs. While this may sound boring to many, I typically look forward to CE and usually enjoy most of the lectures thoroughly.

I was really hoping that with all the extra brain activity going on, I might burn a few calories during the lectures! Stop laughing! This morning, I was writing furtively to keep up with the speaker as the information was so fantastic; I must be buring a bunch! How many calories does one burn during learning? Let me answer that; as far as I can tell, none to zero. 

Well, I don't know that for sure, but when I Googled "how many calories are burned during learning" or "classwork", nothing populated for brain activity calorie destruction. So, my assumption (since I'm highly intelligent)? No calories are burned during the education process. That stinks! Maybe it's because my heart rate stayed the same? In my mind, because brain waves or whatever are more active, I should burn more! Logical, I know.

During the non-calorie burning lectures, the attendees had to sit in teeny tiny chairs locked snuggly to each other in a chain link fence. I know my plump heiney is no small heiney, but good grief people! I looked at those chairs and thought, "how many cheeks do they expect me to fit on that seat? One? Two? Four? Who do they think I am? Holly Wonderheiney?" I could take a picture of my bottom to show you that I have more like four cheeks when others actually only possess two small cheeks (but nobody really should be subjected to that kind of picture). I sat there uncomfortably, next to two good friends; bless their hearts because they, at least outwardly, ignored my plump self spilling into their teeny tiny chairs. I tried to make myself "small(er)" by folding my arms or grasping at myself so I didn't overflow. Luckily, CE conferences aren't like airlines and I didn't have to pay extra for needing more cheek space.

It's probably not as bad as I made it out to be in my own imagination (which was now gigantic due to all the learning!). Maybe next year, I'll be able to sit two cheeks comfortably in those seats.


I lost three pounds this week. Of course, I was much happier about that scale number than last week's fiasco, muscle-building crap.

One measurement of weight loss, for me, is how my rings fit on my fingers. For a couple months now, I haven't worn my beautiful engagement ring because, although it fit, it didn't fit well. It was tight and difficult to put on and remove. For some reason my wedding ring, which is the same size (supposedly) as my engagement ring, fit fine. This is a big deal in my mind because I felt bad not being able to wear the diamond ring because it means so much. Hooray!!

Nothing to exciting for meals last week; I was so busy that I stuck to the basics but was diligent about watching my portion sizes. What I have trouble with is lunches. I'm have trouble varying a lunch routine so I'll have to work harder on that! Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!

Oh, poo....

Not poo like that. Poo like "total bummer, dude".

I gained a half a pound last week. After weighing myself multiple times, I came downstairs in a total state of woe. My husband looks at me and asked what was wrong. I dramatically recounted to him my painful and disappointing encounter with the scale in all it's evilness.

He chuckled at me and said, "Jenn, you've been more active the last two weeks than you have been in months. You probably put on muscle." Well, I wasn't about to believe that for an instant. Muscle schmuscle.

"No. That can't be it. I don't know what I did wrong!" I whined to him.

Again, he chuckled at me.

I know he's probably right but I want to see positive numbers on the scale! It's a total mind game we plumpies play with the scale. We know full well that we aren't supposed to measure success only by that stinkin' scale number but, also by how we feel, and how our pants fit, blah, blah, blah. Still, I play that mind game with the scale. Odd though...I'm losing a game with an inanimate object devoid of any life, soul or brain. How can I be on the short end of that stick?

On a positive note, my pants do fit better, my energy level is up and I'm sleeping less. I'm unsure if that last positive side effect is really positive; I love sleeping! I love our bed, I love snuggling under the covers (as long as I'm not stuck in a dutch oven because of my husband) and I love defying the sun by sleeping in! But, I am much more awake in the morning when I go to the gym. I am going even on the mornings which follow a night with a later-than-desirable bed time. All in all, I know I'm headed down the right track and I need to stop with the scale mind games as it is only a self-depreciating process.


I made another batch of applesauce this weekend thanks to a generous donation of apples.  About 12-5 small apples with skins on, diced. One cinnamon stick, one cup of water and two tablespoons of brown sugar. Cook on low for 6-8 hours and mash with a potato masher!

The finished product looks a little questionable but it is delicious!!  And healthy!


I also made this completely wonderfully scrumptious (holy crap was it good) delight of a low-fat pumpkin mousse! When my husband tried it, I think his eyes rolled back into his head as he "had a moment" with the delicious yet healthy dessert!

http://www.fitsugar.com/Light-Recipe-Pumpkin-Cheesecake-Mousse-20378866